Blinded
by Death and Berry
Summary: I'm unconscious. I think? Everything is dark. When I open my eyes, everything turns white. Where am I... What happened to me? I can't remember. The door finally opens. A man talks to me, but I can barely hear the words. I walk down the halls. Everyone here acts the same. Everyone...but her. / AU / Ichiruki / Ichigo & Rukia's POV.
1. One

BLINDED

.

One.

.

.

It's dark.

I have no idea where I am. What-

What happened?

I feel my chest expending. Am I breathing? I can't hear anything.

I try to blink but I can barely feel the movement of my eyes. All I see is black. Black everywhere.

How did I get here? I can't remember…

Can I even-

No.

I don't know where I was yesterday. I don't know _when_ yesterday was.

I feel myself falling into oblivion. I feel panic exploding into me, yet I can't feel my own body. I feel like I don't have enough oxygen, but I can't tell if I'm actually breathing or not. I feel my heart pounding loudly. But then how-

How can I not hear it beating in my ears?

Is my heart even pumping anything? I feel like there is nothing, absolutely nothing. This room is empty. I'm empty.

I wonder-

Have I been here long?

Am I even somewhere? Am I even _anywhere_?

I want to rub my eyes and finally open them, but nothing happens. I try to look at my own hands, but once again, nothing.

I think I tried to scream, or my body tried to scream. But-

I don't know if I actually did.

All I know right now is…

My name.

Ichigo Kurosaki.


	2. Two

Two.

.

.

My name is Rukia Kuchiki.

I do not know how old I am. They will not tell me.

If you ask anyone how long they've been here, they won't know what you mean; they won't be able to answer you. I don't think they have the same perception of time as I do.

I vaguely remember…the time when I used to be like them.

But that was a long time ago.

That's the difference between the others and myself.

I know I've been here long, even though I can't actually put a number on it, I know it's been a very, very long time. The others on the other hand, I don't think they realize how time has been ticking.

This place is like my own personal hell. I am stuck, yet I have no idea how to free myself. Nobody else is like me. And even if I try to find out more about what the others know, the Hidden will make sure I stop asking questions. They'll do what they always _try_ to do.

If only they knew that it stopped working on me a _long_ time ago.

I call them the Hidden. I'm not sure what they are, but I'm pretty sure they are people, too. Humans. We just never see them, hence the name I've given them in my mind. The others don't call them anything, because I'm the only one who actually don't forget what they do to us.

Thankfully, I'm not completely alone here. I never would've survived in this insanity otherwise. I have someone on my side, but he's not one of the others.

He was the one who noticed I was remembering when I wasn't supposed to, when I was _aware,_ but I wasn't supposed to be. And luckily for me, instead of reporting it to the Hidden -or to whomever is up there at the head of this place-, he told me all about it. He told me the truth no one here is supposed to know.

His name is Renji. Abarai Renji. He is one of the guards, though I'm pretty much the only one who calls them that. The others refer to them as the Blue Coats, oh-so shockingly because they are always dressed in their blue uniforms. Every floor is guarded by a few guards, and they are the ones making sure every subject goes where he or she is supposed to, whether it's the Grand Room to eat, one of the Activity rooms or the Communication room for our daily group sessions. Not that any subject here but me understands the real concept of a _day_.

But that's what they do to us, the Hidden. Every day they make us ingest pills, and according to Renji, the medication and number of pills given depend on how the patient responds to their series of tests. The Hidden perform regular analysis of our brains and neuropsychological testing, then some kind of amnesic drug is injected that makes us sleep until the next day and makes us forget what we just went through. Only thing is, I stopped forgetting a long time ago. The others wake up and fall back into their schedule without question, but that's not what happens to me. I wake up, and I can remember almost all of it. The pain, the darkness, the confusion, the silent, the isolation. Every test is a bit different than the previous one. Sometimes I wish I could forget the horror they put me through, but then I see all the others, and all I feel is a powerful, poisonous disgust at their oblivious expressions.

Sometimes I get these glimpses of another life when I'm sleeping. Renji says they're called 'dreams'. He says one of the pills they give us are meant to prevent us from having those 'dreams', which is why I never told anybody but him. I'm not really sure what they mean, but they are the closest thing I have to a real life.


	3. Three

Three.

.

 _Ichigo_

 _._

I wake up gasping for air as my eyes fly open; all I can see is white. Overwhelming white. I blink several times, my left hand instinctively protecting my eyes from the crushing light. I'm panting, my heart is pounding hard inside my ribcage, and this time I can _feel_ it. A brief feeling of relief falls over me as my other hand travels to my heaving chest, sensing the rapid _lub_ _dub_ rhythm beating under my shirt. This draws my attention to the clothes on my back. I'm wearing a neat white t-shirt and a pair of solid grey flannel pants. My shirt is completely drenched in sweat.

I blink again as my eyes start to get adjusted to the bright environment. I hesitantly lower the hand that was covering my eyes and notice that I'm sitting on a single-place bed. The covers are white, thin and hard against my skin. I rub my eyes with both my hands and finally look at my surroundings.

I'm in a small room. All four walls are white, and there are no windows. Shit. At least with a window I would've been able to know a little more about _where_ the hell I am. Aside from that, there's a basic stainless steel desk with a matching chair to go with it, and lastly, two doors, opposite of each other.

One has a small keypad with a red light flashing every five seconds. I turn my head to the other side and notice the absence of a keypad on the second door. I slowly get up, not sure if my legs will hold my weight, but apparently they do.

I walk to the second door and lift my shaky hand to put it around the metallic door lever. I'm just about to turn it when I suddenly hear a sharp _beep_ _beep_ coming from the other corner of the room. I quickly turn around as my eyes widen and my hands instinctively curl into fists.

I can only wait as the first door opens and a tall man appears in the door frame. My heart immediately picks up a faster pace as I analyze him. He definitely looks like a security guard with his heavily built body and his ear piece. He's also dressed in this navy blue uniform that looks a little padded, probably for protective measures.

I swallow hard, completely unsure of what to expect when the guard turns his head around and nods to someone behind him. There's someone else?

Before I can register more, the guard steps aside, revealing another man; the one that apparently was standing behind him. This man's presence immediately sends shivers down my spine.

He is tall, but not as tall as the guard. He's dressed in an entirely white suit. He has middle-aged facial features, brown wavy hair and wears a pair of shining silver glasses. But the most unsettling thing about this man is his smile.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, is it?" the man suddenly speaks.

I can't help the frown of surprise that just took over my face. "How-" My voice is hoarse and I can't control the dry cough now escaping my throat.

The man dressed in white turns around and I hear him talking to someone in what appears to be a hallway, right outside the room. "Hinamori, give the man a glass of water, please."

"Yes, sir." I can hear a small female voice answering.

The next thing I see is a glass of water being handed to me. I hesitate in taking in, for all I know there could be poison in there or something. But my throat is so dry I don't think I could stop coughing even if I'd try my hardest.

I shakily take the glass and within two seconds, its whole content is gone down my esophagus. Finally something to calm down my body a little.

I clear my throat, unsure of whether or not it would actually let me talk this time.

"How do you know my name?" I manage to ask.

The white man smiles sweetly, as if trying not to scare me away. "Tell me, Ichigo," he starts. "What do you remember?"

I frown slightly. Wasn't I asking myself this very question a very minutes…no. A few hours ago? Honestly I have absolutely no idea how much time has passed since…since what exactly? I squint my eyes and look at the floor. Everything is a blur… All I feel is frustration and confusion.

"I- I can't- I don't know."

The man smiles again, in an even more gentle way if possible. "I understand you must be very confused, Ichigo. But you should not worry. We are all here to help you."

To help me? What the hell does he mean?

Before I can have a chance to analyze him further, he continues. "We found you, Ichigo. You were about to die, and we saved your life."

"Wait- what?" My heart beat that was just beginning to calm down starts picking up again. My mind is getting foggy. I see the man in white walking closer to me until he's directly staring into my eyes. I can't keep my vision focused.

Yet the man keeps going. "You belong here now, Ichigo. You understand what I'm saying?"

"What the hell is this?" I think I heard myself scream. "What- what about my family?!"

The man seems taken aback for the first time since we met. He raises an eyebrow as his eyes slightly widen. I'm blinking uncontrollably. I feel the blackness coming back.

The man's smile falls into a straighter line. He sighs and turns around, walking out of the room. "He's not there yet. He'll need another dose, Hinamori." I hear other voices talking, but I can't make out what they're saying. I can't keep my eyelids open. Are my legs giving out? I can't feel the ground anymore.

I sense the panic curling up inside my stomach again. Something's not right. I feel my head spinning. What the fuck is going on-

I lose consciousness.


	4. Four

Four.

.

 _Rukia_

.

I open my eyes with a rushing feeling of terror. I can't really see anything; just blinding white everywhere. I feel around with my hands and let out a breath when I feel covers, a hard mattress and a pillow underneath my fingertips. I lay my head back down and put my hands flat on my belly as I breathe in and out of my abdomen, as slowly as I can manage. I blink a few times as my normal vision starts to come back.

I had that dream again. The same dream I've had a hundred times before.

I have to talk to Renji.

If they didn't bring any modifications to my schedule, I should be able to go to the Garden at 1:00 p.m. and wait for him there. Most of the time he can't make it, being busy with something else or held off somewhere by someone. He says it's important not to meet regularly as his 'co-workers', as he calls the other guards, could get suspicious of his whereabouts. On top of that, Blue Coats –or guards, if you prefer- and patients never share a real conversation or have an exchange that goes beyond a few sentences or even a few words. If Renji and I were to be seen talking directly to each other for five minutes we would without any doubt draw attention to us, and then… Well, who knew what they would do to us then.

It's still really dark in my room. I don't know what time it is, as there are no time displayed in the bedrooms, so I can't get up yet. Renji once told me the subjects are only to get up from their beds at the bell ring, then they shower, brush their teeth, and wait for a guard to open their door and give them their schedule of the day.

The bell rings at 6:00 a.m. sharp, but like I said, with no way of knowing what time it is right now, all I can do is wait in my bed for it to ring.

I suddenly become very aware of the camera, in the top left corner of my cell, pointing straight at me, and I have to fight my most burning instinct not to turn my head and stare at it; at _them_.

The thought of people watching me right now makes me so sick, just sitting there behind their desk doing whatever they're paid to be doing. There are cameras in every room and in every hall; basically everywhere but in our individual bathrooms. Renji informed me of that long ago.

The regular loud and piercing morning bell suddenly rings and cuts my thoughts short. The bright light above me suddenly lights up, illuminating the white cube I live in.

6:00 a.m.

I sit up in my small bed, put both my feet flat on the cold floor and get up. I feel a little nauseous and dizzy, but then again, just like every morning. I walk a few steps in an almost robotic way and grab the change of clothes that has been oh so perfectly folded for me and placed on my nightstand. I walk to the door on the left side of the room and turn the knob, entering my personal bathroom. I close the door behind me and finally let out a breath. This is the only place where I feel the tiniest feeling of relief, where there are no cameras watching my every move. But of course, no place in here is perfect; Renji once told me there might be microphones hidden in the walls of the bathrooms. This is why I never allow myself to cry out loud. All I do is turn on the water of the shower and let the tears fall silently, although I would never tell Renji that.

When I'm done showering, brushing my teeth and putting the clean clothes on I get out of the bathroom and put the dirty clothes in a pile on my nightstand, where someone will come pick it up to wash it later. I then sit on the bed, my back perfectly straight and my eyes staring at the wall, waiting for a guard to open my door.

I'm not sure how many minutes passed, but eventually, I hear a familiar _beep_ _beep_ echoing around me, and the door of my room opens.

A guard who's face I might've seen before but can't put a name on looks at me as he stands in the doorway. He has short spikey black hair, dark eyes and a few tattoos on his face. He seems kind, even though he's not smiling. I wonder what's up with all the guards having so many tattoos. I get up and walk up to him as he looks at a paper he's holding on a metallic pad.

"Rukia Kuchiki. 7:00 am. Grand Room," he says, still looking at his paper, then looks up at me.

I nod once, as a _normal_ subject would do, even though I feel like hitting him for repeating the same shit I hear every morning. I wish.

I walk pass him and we both silently move through the hallway, him standing a few feet behind me, until we finally reach the Grand Room.

When we enter the dining hall, or the _cafeteria_ , as Renji calls it sometimes, my guard walks away from me without a word to join the table where other guards are gathered. I have no idea what they're talking about, and I'm not sure I want to know.

I make my usual way to the food counter and grab a food tray along with an empty plastic glass. I never have a big appetite but today is even worse. I look at all the different food dispensers; cereal, yogurt, bread. Just thinking about those raises bile up my throat. I slide my tray past most of the choices until I reach the water dispenser and fill up my glass. I pick up a red apple, put both items on my tray and make my way for my usual table in the corner, where I can eat alone most of the time.

As I sink my teeth in my apple, I shoot a look at some subjects at tables near me. Some are smiling and chatting in small groups or in pairs, and even though I know it's not their fault, they're the ones I absolutely cannot stand. I stopped trying to figure out what they were possibly talking about a long time ago, when I realized it could never be about something I found remotely important. They just speak…empty words. Everything here is empty. Useless. Meaningless. I have the hardest time pretending like their fake, non-questioned happiness doesn't anger me to my very core until it has me shaking with fury, but then again I guess I've gotten pretty good at hiding what I really think.

I see someone sitting down at the table right behind me. I hardly turn around but I can still see who it is; it's that annoyed-looking kid with white hair. I think his name is Hitsugaya; I heard a guard yelling it once. I've never spoken with him, and I rarely see him but when I do, I always notice the same look on his face: hatred. I still can't figure out if it's anger toward others, toward himself, toward this place... He looks younger than most subjects here, and definitely younger than the guards. I have to stop myself from thinking about how old _I_ am, once again. I can't allow myself to go down that road; wondering about my past life –if I even had one- is just eating me up from the inside.

I swallow the bite I've been chewing for the past minute as I shoot a last look across the entire room, turn back to my nearly empty tray and sigh quietly.

I don't know why I even bothered to try anymore. I decided no one here could be trusted a long time ago.

No one except Renji.


End file.
